Why Isn't There A Comedy Troupe of Three Year Olds?

The boys have said some really funny stuff lately and I've been meaning to blog it. Luckily tonight I was already at the computer when Max and I had this conversation...
Max: Mommy, Bugsy has a candy wrapper in his mouth!
Me: OK, I'll get it in a minute (I was very busy playing Jewel Quest).
Max: But Mom, you have to get it now! Why are you still playing your game?
Me: ugh...because...
Max: Mom? Are you going to kill Bugsy?
Me: What? No? (And no longer playing my game) What are you talking about?
Max: Are you going to kill Bugsy because he ate my candy?
Me: No.
Max: Oh. But I don't like Bugsy. He stinks. Parts of him are black and they look like poop.

I would like to defend Max by saying it is bedtime and he is very tired tonight. But where on earth did this come from???

Here are some more things the boys have said...
Last night we had dinner at the Mellow Mushroom before Ed left for Maryland. While we were there, Max took a sip of his Sprite and made a kissy face and turned to Ed. Ed gave him a kiss but Max still had a kissy face. He wanted to give Ed "Sprite Mouth to Mouth" I guess. Where do they get this stuff???

Another Max moment...Nolen had a fever and threw up on Thursday night. I panicked. I have bad memories of the boys being 6 months and 21 months old and BOTH having the pukies right after Ed left for Iraq. They had no way to tell me WHEN they were going to puke and no control over WHERE! It was rough! Anyway, when Nolen threw up I had flashbacks and as I was furiously trying to clean it up and washing my hands every 2 minutes, Max kept following me everywhere. I was getting frustrated because I didn't want Max to be exposed to whatever his brother had (although its a tough transition for boys that very often use the same toothbrush because I don't want to hear them argue over whose is whose). We tried to explain to Max that Nolen had germs. Then Max didn't want Nolen to touch him because he didn't want the germs. So we explained that germs are in your spit and snot so you have to sneeze on someone or share a cup to catch their germs. Well, when we took Nolen's temperature yesterday it was 98.6. Max happily announced, "Yay! Nolen can lick people again!" (I know that was a long story, but the punchline is worth it.)